No-No. No.

I think it’s time for leggings to go away now.

I am tired of seeing them incorrectly worn, as they so often are. Unarguably not fit for all shapes and sizes, they seem to give many girls reason to show off things that other trousers artfully conceal (crotches, thongs, cellulite, ahem).

My main gripe, despite the fact that they really only look good on Sienna Miller-types, is the fact that they are most often worn to within an inch of their lives. And then worn again. When I say this, I’m referring to the phenomenon whereby the cotton lycra thins to the point that it produces a dappled effect across the thighs. Meaning: the world can see your legs through your pants. Meaning: throw them away! It’s not just a case of your lycra catching the light. It genuinely is a case of your pants perishing on your person.

And the other thing is that people try to get creative with them. Zips, laceups, rhinestones and more. Cut off at the calf, tucked into Uggs (Lord help us) or paired with heels for a night on the town. All this, and the trend has still long overstayed its welcome!

It also spawned a set of nightmarish sub-trends, jeggings and treggings, that are as much a visual abomination as they are a literary one. Their very names are a scar on the English language. Lindsay Lohan also launched a line dedicated specifically to leggings of all kinds… I rest my case.

The next time you don your leggings, think twice. Ask an honest friend if they can see your panties through your pants. Ensure that you have not paired calf-length leggings with shoes that stray beyond the ankle, producing a strange effect that can only (sadly) be described as squattening.

Or better yet, burn the buggers. Their tenure is up.

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3 responses to “No-No. No.

  1. This is brilliant and should be posted as a national warning!!!And, wearing leggings to work? You must be kidding! But sadly, as I am in Joburg, this is an unfortunate occurance I must contend with on a daily basis. Why would you want your boss to see your knickers, or your arse, I beg to ask?

  2. At last! I an so over leggings. They were ‘in’ during my first pregnancy and my second… My kids are 4 years apart! xx

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