A novel day

{Please excuse the quality of these pictures, they were taken on my Blackberry. And thank you Gisela for taking these awkward  pictures of me}

My day in socks and heels got off to a bad start. Having set my alarm extra early in order to leisurely devise my outfit, I, of course, slept right though it, and woke up with 20 minutes in which to dress, make my lunch, down my coffee and dash out of the door, besocked and beheeled. As soon as I started trying things on I knew it meant trouble, because everything looked or felt ridiculous. In my mind I had envisioned a full, flouncy skirt to offset the geekiness of the sock/shoe arrangement, but soon found that nothing was appropriate. I briefly considered abandoning ship until a later stage, when I’d have time to mull over the perfect ensemble, but instead went with the fluster, bundled myself into something and charged for the car. Arrived at work to two encouraging compliments, and calmed the fack down.

Usually when I am unsure of my outfit it is because I was feeling particularly outlandish that morning and simply could not settle for a simple dress or trousers and blouse. In such cases I usually arrive at my destination, whereupon I remember that I am, in fact, wearing a silk shirt as a skirt, and that people are starting to notice that I have sleeves knotted around my waist. Days like these are a nightmare from start to finish, and, struggling to put it out of my mind that I have, in a moment of madness and haste, donned something that is attracting amused looks, I try to “look on the bright side of things”, as they say. Yes, Kate, it may be becoming increasingly obvious that your dress is on backwards, but at least you don’t have a Barry Manilow CD permanently lodged in your car frontloader. Or cankles. (For saying that I will probably be smite from the heavens by a Barry-Manilow-shaped lightning bolt, but at least I will have once worn socks with heels and have seen Muse live).
Back to the socks and heels. I must say that it was a slight cop out, because I wore them with closed shoes, which is markedly easier, but bear in mind that I was in a rush. I wore my pale pink herring bone print stocking socks, a Country Road indigo denim pencil skirt, a charcoal Woolworths T with studs on the shoulders, Zoom heels and my velvet headthing (no longer sure what to call it). Two individuals did a double take and followed it up with a swift “Oh, have you been wearing that all day?” – a sure prelude to an insult, or at least, moderate confusion at the sight of socks and heels. This pleased me, because what is the point of conducting an experiment if the results are not varied? My twice daily Beluga courtyard trot to secure a Table 13 cappuccino was met with some interested looks, and a friend that I met en route said that I looked like “a twig”. Always nice to hear, although I amended “twig” to “branch”.

After work I dashed home in preparation for dinner at Sidewalk Cafe with some girlfriends, and decided to extend the experiment. I changed the pink anklets for a pair of men’s dappled grey hiking socks (yes), flung on a Two keyhole dress with a raspberry crotcheted cardi (vintage) and a dove grey summer coat. I was in a hurry again, and the devising of the outfit was no easier than it had been earlier in the day. Arriving at Sidewalk, I also realised that it was actually effing hot inside, and I was now wearing a pair of woolen hiking socks. More confusion, as I realised I, myself, was not a hundred percent convinced of my outfit, but two G&Ts and a glass of red later, I had forgotten about it.
Arriving home, I couldn’t wait to get the socks and heels off of my feet, having been in them for approximately 13 hours. In summary, I would recommend pairing lightweight socks (I like patterned ones) with the heels of your choice and either something short (a la Alexa Chung denim cut offs) or something full – a fifties style skirt to below the knee. I would also recommend allotting yourself a good chunk of time in which to mull over your outfit, because you don’t want to arrive at work / a party / dinner and force yourself to “look on the bright side” (Barry Manilow CD, cankles) for the duration of the event.

6 responses to “A novel day

  1. Never feel bad for wearing something outlandish. Whenever I start to feel self conscious I remember the wise words of Anna Dello Russo “When people look at you, just SMILE!” and she’s talking about wearing a piece of fruit on your head! So socks and shoes are nothing 😉 http://www.annadellorusso.com/2010/10/milan-fashion-week-10-headpiece-rules.html

    • She is just so fabulous. The spangled watermelon! And those legs. I love it when she wears those fully transparent frocks with the beauteous lingerie. See you on the street, outlandish kids unite 🙂

  2. i love this post i laughed out loud !!!!!
    i wanted to see a pic of the later outfit!
    and what is this tweet about being in the Elle!!!
    you have to post it!

    • I wasn’t feeling the later outfit at all, so no pics were taken 🙂 Plus I think I had red wine lips, so it’s probably for the best! The tweet about Elle was directed at a local photographer, Alix-Rose Cowie, who was selected as an up and coming young photographer and appeared in the latest issue of Elle. This is her blog: http://alixisforhire.blogspot.com/

      Miss you! Owe you a moerse long email (hahaha…) and I have news that is worth tellin…


  3. this trend has been growing on me more and more. your post has encouraged me to try it out- i think.

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