Please don’t wear these. Please.

You may be on my side and think to yourself ‘Who in the name of Jeff Goldblum would wear that?’ And I wouldn’t blame you…

But I see these things.

These noxious curios are snappily named ‘African Butterflies’, surely by someone that resides in America and who conveniently slaps on some beads, a symphony of beige and brown and some scary masks and declares it ethnic.

And I see them all over the show…

In the checkout queue at Clicks, accompanied by a polyester polo neck, a plastic vice on a prim chignon that makes me want to pry it apart with my bare hands and shout ‘What the fark are you thinking?!’ Or on wandering, innocent tourists who know no better… who have been duped into a curio – something authentic and earthy-hued to hold their blonde curls in place while they stride Kloof St in sensible shoes and stripes, sure to shake them loose at Carnival Court later that night, and hope against hope, lose the offending torture device somewhere on the dancefloor.

Lord help us.


5 responses to “Eyesore

  1. You’re so vicious!!

    • Do you blame me? They are a fashion abomination! There is absolutely no reason to don one of these. I think that these commercial ideas of what looks ‘African’ are hilarious.

  2. This is hilarious! Now, I don’t know if you have met my grandmamma Kate, my mother’s mother? She is a true beauty, having even won Miss South Africa sometime back in the day, and provider of some of my most prized vintage pieces, including Dior, I might add. Her beauty is intact, due to never having worked a day since the age of 26 when she was an air hostess, and never having washed/styled her own hair in her entire life, she is the epitome of a dumb blonde. She has short blonde hair, and one day whilst walking through the mall with her best friend Dini, she was totally duped into buying the ‘African Butterfly’ hair clip. Meant for tumbling curls, water falling down a tanned back and worn by the type of girl that would undoubtedly get braids if in Thailand, this clip I’m sure, has ever seen the head of an 80 something year old woman with three, albeit stylishly styled, hairs. It was the most hilarious sight I have ever seen!!! The ‘butterfly’ perched on the top of her head, not actually performing any cliply duties. So, I laughed mercilessly, and asked her, ‘Why, oh why grandmamma do you have such a big clip on your head?’And she told me, as should have been suspected; they were selling them in aid of a charity. Need I say more about the ‘African Butterfly’ clip? 🙂

  3. My aunt bought me one for christmas!!!! It was black and white… kinda shiny too… needless to say she won’t be getting a christmas gift from me this year !

    • Haha… they walk among us? My gran once bought me a mini patchwork leather backpack with extra length straps. Just sayin’.

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